Will we forever remain the Selfie Generation?
I love social mediaโjust not all of it.
I could do without motivยญaยญtionยญal quotes, bathยญroom selfies, impossible ping-pong trick shots, wingยญtip sunยญsets, Instagram teen modยญels, jet-set lifeยญstyles with filยญter packs, keepยญing up with realยญity superยญstars, LinkedIn netยญworkยญing threads, Tik Tok pranks, butt posยญing in yoga pants, baby picยญtures, MrBeast, Twitch streamยญers speakยญing in baby voices, man-buns makยญing perยญfect cups of cofยญfee, rampant Twitter debates, and snapยญshots of feet on beaches.
Still:
Will we figยญure out what it means to be grownups in social media?
Or will we remain infantยญilยญised kidults?
Here we go:
The Selfie Generation
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The Selfie Generation
I turned 30 in 2009 and spent the folยญlowยญing decยญade experยญiยญenยญcing a social media uniยญverse domยญinยญated by teens and 20-somethings. Sure, new trends are excitยญing, but still.
Iโve loathed seeยญing othยญerยญwise mature, intelยญliยญgent, middle-aged friends do duckยญface selfies in front of their bathยญroom mirยญrorsโโโor weirdly flexยญing about their latest triathยญlon trainยญing sesยญsion. 1Silfwer, J. (2021, August 10). Online Wannabeism: Why We Mimic Social Media Influencers. Doctor Spin | the PR Blog. https://โdocโtorโspinโ.net/โoโnโlโiโnโeโ-โwโaโnโnโaโbโeโiโsm/
โBeing young today is no longer a transยญitยญory stage, but rather a life choice, well estabยญlished and bruยญtally proยญmoted by the media sysยญtem. While the clasยญsic paradigms of adultยญhood and matยญurยญaยญtion could interยญpret such infantยญile behaยญviยญor as a sympยญtom of deviยญance, such behaยญviยญor has become a modยญel to folยญlow, an ideal of fun and being careยญfree, present in a wide variยญety of conยญtexts of sociยญety. The conยญtemยญporยญary adult folยญlows a sort of thoughtยญful immaยญturยญity, a conยญscious escape from the responsยญibยญilยญitยญies of an anaยญchronยญistยญic modยญel of life. If an ideal of maturยญity remains, it does not find behaยญviยญorยญal comยญpensยญaยญtions in a sociยญety where childยญish attiยญtudes and adolesยญcent life modยญels are conยญstantly proยญmoted by the media and tolยญerยญated by instiยญtuยญtions.โ
Source: ResearchGate 2Bernardini, J. (2014, June 30). The Infantilization of the Postmodern Adult and the Figure of Kidult. ResearchGate. โฆ Continue readยญing
Some take the route of being omniยญpoยญtent multi-experts who are fiercely opinยญionยญated about everything. Others try to save the world by organยญising themยญselves around the centยญral task of shamยญing othยญers pubยญlicly. Some try too hard to impress othยญers by self-proยญmotยญing their perยญsonยญal life choices. 3Silfwer, J. (2022, September 6). Social MediaโโโThe Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Doctor Spin | The PR Blog. https://โdocโtorโspinโ.net/โsโoโcโiโaโlโ-โmโeโdโia/
Others opt out. Some of us cenยญsor ourselves in fear of social isolยญaยญtion, opinยญion corยญridors, and mighty echo chamยญbers. 4Silfwer, J. (2023, December 15). Echo Chambers: Algorithmic Confirmation Bias. Doctor Spin | The PR Blog. https://โdocโtorโspinโ.net/โeโcโhโoโ-โcโhโaโmโbโeโrs/ 5Silfwer, J. (2020, June 4). The Spiral of Silence. Doctor Spin | the PR Blog. https://โdocโtorโspinโ.net/โsโpโiโrโaโlโ-โoโfโ-โsโiโlโeโnโce/
โA status update with no likes (or a clevยญer tweet without retweets) becomes the equiยญvalยญent of a joke met with silence. It must be rethought and rewritยญten. And so we donโt show our true selves online, but a mask designed to conยญform to the opinยญions of those around us.โ
โ Neil Strauss, Wall Street Journal
We resort to clickยญbait, humble bragยญging, and virยญtue sigยญnalling in our desยญperยญate search for likes. 6Silfwer, J. (2023, November 22). The Anatomy of Attention. Doctor Spin | The PR Blog. https://โdocโtorโspinโ.net/โaโtโtโeโnโtโiโon/
Weโre a genยญerยญaยญtion of adults who donโt know what it means to be grownups on social media.
โTo me, itโs just one sympยญtom of a broadยญer trend of infantยญilยญisaยญtion in Western culยญture. It began before the advent of smartยญphones and social media. But, as I argue in my book โThe Terminal Self,โ our everyยญday interยญacยญtions with these comยญputer techยญnoยญloยญgies have accelยญerยญated and norยญmยญalยญised our cultureโs infantยญile tendยญenยญcies.โ
โ Simon Gottschalk, proยญfessยญor of Sociology at the University of Nevada
But itโs nevยญer too late to be a grownup in social media:
Learn more: The Selfie Generation: An Epidemic of Online Narcissism
๐ก Subscribe and get a free ebook on how to get betยญter PR.
Emotional Maturity and Social Media
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Emotional Maturity and Social Media
How do we betยญter underยญstand the emoยญtionยญal maturยญity of the Selfie Generation? In The Secret of Maturity by Kevin Everett FitzMaurice, a maturยญity proยญgresยญsion of six steps is outlined:
Level 1: Emotional Responsibility
Social media immaยญturยญity: When people get easยญily offenยญded, espeยญcially on behalf of others.
Level 1 maturยญity means that you underยญstand that your feelยญings are your choices. People who havenโt yet reached this level of maturยญity tend to blame their feelยญings on externยญal stimยญuli, such as othยญer people, places, things, forces, fate, and spirits.
Level 2: Emotional Honesty
Social media immaยญturยญity: When people pubยญlicly paint themยญselves as vicยญtims of their feelings.
Level 2 maturยญity means you underยญstand your feelยญings and have the copยญing mechยญanยญisms to allow for genuยญine emoยญtions instead of supยญpressยญing them. People who havenโt yet reached this level of maturยญity tend to hurt themยญselves emoยญtionยญally because they havenโt yet learned how to cope with their inner emotions.
Level 3: Emotional Openness
Social media immaยญturยญity: When people pubยญlicly overยญshare to walยญlow or are unaware that their sharยญing has the opposยญite effect than they were aimยญing for.
Level 3 maturยญity means that you can be purยญposeยญful in ventยญing your emoยญtions with the intent to let them go because youโre done with them. People who havenโt yet reached this level of maturยญity tend to be insecยญure in knowยญing how and when to share their feelings.
Level 4: Emotional Assertiveness
Social media immaยญturยญity: When people allow othยญers to make them feel bad but canยญnot set whatever boundยญarยญies they need.
Level 4 maturยญity means that you take responsยญibยญilยญity for clearly comยญmuยญnicยญatยญing your emoยญtionยญal needs with those who care about you. People who havenโt yet reached this maturยญity level tend to fear askยญing othยญers to respect their emoยญtionยญal needs.
Level 5: Emotional Understanding
Social media immaยญturยญity: When people try too hard to virยญtue sigยญnal and proยญject a false self-image, which only makes them feel worse.
Level 5 maturยญity means you no longer force yourยญself into imaยญginยญary or conยญveniยญent ideas about who you are and what you should feel. People who havenโt yet reached this level of maturยญity tend to have cerยญtain firm beliefs about themยญselves that stem from ideas or prinยญciples, not genuยญine emotions.
Level 6: Emotional Detachment
Social media immaยญturยญity: When people canโt truly appreยญciยญate livยญing in a world where people make each othยญer feel good and bad about things.
Level 6 maturยญity means you are detached from your ego, and nothยญing can no longer bothยญer you beyยญond your conยญtrol. People who havenโt yet reached this level of maturยญity tend to have cerยญtain self-conยญcepts to defend or promote.
Learn more: The Selfie Generation: An Epidemic of Online Narcissism
๐ก Subscribe and get a free ebook on how to get betยญter PR.
Life Experience and Maturity
Shaping techยญnoยญlogy to favour humanยญity will require a sizeยญable dose of maturยญity, charยญacยญter, and life experience.
John Mellkvist, a Swedish PR conยญsultยญant and futurยญist, is on a perยญsonยญal quest to raise awareยญness that the โolderโ workยญforce is conยญstantly undervalued.
For instance, Mellkvist is pushยญing locยญal industry media to list โ50 over 50โ as a counยญterยญweight to all juniยญor marยญketยญing and PR listยญings. I supยญport his work wholeยญheartedly, of course, but I canโt help but react against the absurdity of underยญesยญtimยญatยญing proยญfesยญsionยญals with extensยญive experยญiยญence and robust networks.
Why shouldnโt we be conยญfidยญent in shapยญing social media to reflect our genยญerยญaยญtion better?
Read also: What Remains of the Xennial Generation?
Let Me Take a Selfie
I think of my behaยญviour on social media as I ponยญder the varyยญing levels of emoยญtionยญal maturยญity among my peers in the selfie genยญerยญaยญtion. Getting sucked into a maelยญstrom of clickยญbait and humblยญebยญrags is taxing.
Itโs a pecuยญliยญar side-effect: online self-pubยญlishยญing with zero fricยญtion has made it easy to resort to immaยญture and reactยญive behaviours.
Imagine if we, at least those who think of ourselves as adults and wish to opt out of the Selfie Generation, could shift our approach to social media. How wonderful!
Good stuff.
But first, let me take a selfie.
Thank you. Please supยญport my blog by sharยญing artยญicles with othยญer comยญmuยญnicยญaยญtions- and marยญketยญing proยญfesยญsionยญals. Please also conยญsider my PR serยญvices or speakยญing engageยญments.