When a Public Apology is Warranted (And When It’s Not)

A pub­lic apo­logy is not about forgiveness.

This art­icle will give you an over­view of dif­fer­ent types of pub­lic apo­lo­gies. I’ll also explore why a pub­lic apo­logy has little to do with find­ing forgiveness.

I’m a seni­or pub­lic rela­tions advisor who has advised many brands in per­il. The key to get­ting a pub­lic apo­logy is thor­oughly under­stand­ing the situation.

Here we go:

Components of a Public Apology

Types of Public Apologies

Non-Apologies

Many pub­lic apo­lo­gies res­ult in per­haps the worst kind of pub­lic apo­lo­gies, non-apologies:

“I’m sorry that you feel this way.”
“I’m sorry that you don’t appre­ci­ate the out­come.”
“I’m sorry that I failed to make myself clear.”

Deflective Apologies

Deflective apo­lo­gies is anoth­er form of non-apo­logy where you out­right blame someone else for your mistakes:

“I’m sorry that I was mis­in­formed or took bad advice.”
“I’m sorry they failed to do what they prom­ised me.”

Pathological Apologies

Sometimes, non-apo­lo­gies take a dark turn. Demonstrating linger­ing aggres­sion (and no actu­al remorse) indic­ates that the apo­logy is an out­right lie. 

Pathological apo­lo­gies are, some­what sur­pris­ingly, not all that uncommon:

“I’m sorry because I got caught.”
“I’m sorry I’m not ‘per­fect’ by your standards.”

Moral Apologies

On the oth­er side of the spec­trum, we have a mor­al apology. 

Moral apo­lo­gies aren’t inher­ently wrong like non-apo­lo­gies, deflect­ive apo­lo­gies, and patho­lo­gic­al apo­lo­gies. Their effect­ive­ness will depend on wheth­er or not the audi­ence accepts them as being true based on the circumstances. 

The accused acknow­ledges the neg­at­ive out­come but without accept­ing any mor­al responsibility:

“I’m sorry, but I only did what I thought was right at the time.”
“I’m sorry; in hind­sight, that was a bad decision on my part.”

Defeatist Apologies

Some apo­lo­gies will only work if the audi­ence accepts that the cause was just and that the poten­tial value of learn­ing from a mis­take is substantial.

A close rel­at­ive to mor­al apo­lo­gies is defeat­ist apologies:

“I’m sorry that I failed in my attempt.”
“I’m sorry that this did­n’t work out the way it was sup­posed to.”
“I’m sorry, but if I knew things would turn out this way, I would’ve chosen differently.”

Character Apologies

Then we also have char­ac­ter apologies. 

These apo­lo­gies appeal to the notion that we all make mis­takes from time to time — and per­haps some more than others:

“I’m sorry, I was stu­pid.”
“I’m sorry, I was under the influ­ence or tem­por­ar­ily con­fused.”
“I’m sorry, I was emo­tion­al and acted out.”
“I’m sorry — I’m sick and need help.”
“I’m sorry — I was weak.”

Circumstantial Apologies

Circumstantial apo­lo­gies can be effi­cient in dir­ect­ing the focus towards a spe­cif­ic situation:

“I’m sorry that someone sur­prised me and caught me off-guard.”
“I’m sorry I lacked the skills to man­age that situ­ation.”
“I mis­un­der­stood or mis­read the situ­ation.”
“I’m sorry that I was­n’t bet­ter prepared.”

Stoic Apologies

Stoic apo­lo­gies are stand­ard in busi­ness con­texts. They can be power­ful yet simple, but some might inter­pret their inten­tion as mis­con­strued martyrdom. 

Is there any hon­est regret?

“I’m sorry and take full respons­ib­il­ity for my actions.”
“I’m sorry, but I acknow­ledge the con­sequences and will accept prop­er punishment.”

Transactional Apologies

Transactional apo­lo­gies can be effi­cient if the accuser is inter­ested in nego­ti­at­ing com­pens­a­tion or used as a tac­tic by the accused to appeal to the accuser­’s greed:

“I’m sorry, and I’ll make it up to you.”
“I’m sorry, and we have accep­ted to pay dam­ages to all those who have been affected.”

Pushing the Process Forward

Most of us will be nat­ur­ally sus­pi­cious when encoun­ter­ing the above examples. 

Is it an hon­est apo­logy?
Is it an apo­logy that fits the “crime”?

Apart from an hon­est deliv­ery, this is what we must under­stand about the stra­tegic use of pub­lic apo­lo­gies as a PR tool:

Public apo­lo­gies are not a meth­od to obtain for­give­ness or pre­vent loss of pub­lic trust. Forgiveness and trust must be earned long-term and separately. 

A pub­lic apo­logy is a tool to allow the nar­rat­ive to move into the next stage soon­er rather than later — whatever that stage might hold in store for the wrongdoer.

PR Resource: The High Road Tonality

Spin Academy | Online PR Courses

The High Road Tonality

An organ­isa­tion is the total sum of all its cowork­ers. Imagine tak­ing the most mature traits from each cowork­er and com­bin­ing them into one voice — the High Road Tonality.

• Openness. A mature organ­isa­tion under­stands that every­one must be allowed to express their thoughts and opinions.
• Fairness. A mature organ­isa­tion will see (and respect) both sides of a divis­ive argument.
• Strength. A mature organ­isa­tion is con­fid­ent in its chosen strategies and acquired abil­it­ies, not because they’re per­fect, but because they are grounded.
• Wisdom. A mature organ­isa­tion will take their time to explain com­plex top­ics without condescending.
• Humility. A mature organ­isa­tion under­stands that no one can have everything com­pletely figured out and that we all have learn­ing and grow­ing to do.

Learn more: The High Road Tonality: Don’t Be Pushed Around

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