I’m a senior public relations advisor who has advised several brands in peril. This article will give you an overview of different types of public apologies and explore why a public apology has little to do with absolution.
Here we go:
The Public Apology
A public apology is, by nature, an ambiguous statement; it ranges from submissive remorse to a chevalier’s trope of humbly expressing that the outcome was all that one could muster — despite best efforts.
The public apology.
“Public apologies function as ritualistic public punishment and humiliation, rather than forgiveness, to enforce ethical standards for public speech.” Source: Rhetoric Society Quarterly1Ellwanger, A. (2012). Apology as Metanoic Performance: Punitive Rhetoric and Public Speech. Rhetoric Society Quarterly, 42, 307 — 329. https://doi.org/10.1080/02773945.2012.704118
The audience will not consider anyone’s public apology until they understand why someone did what they did and how they feel about doing it. This ambiguity is why saying, “I apologise” is never enough — you must also express regret and explain yourself.
Anatomy of an Apology
The apology. (“I apologise.”)
The regret. (“I’m sorry.”)
The explanation. (“This is why.”)
Types of Public Apologies
There are several different types of apologies to avoid. Unfortunately, as far as public apologies go, these types of public apologies are widely used — often with devastating PR consequences.
The non-apology. (“I apologise, and I’m sorry you feel this way.”)
The deflective apology. (“I apologise, and I’m sorry I was misinformed or took bad advice.”)
The pathological apology. (“I apologise, and I’m sorry I got caught.”)
The grandstanding apology. (“I apologise, and I’m sorry, but I acted according to my moral convictions.”)
The defeatist apology. (“I apologise, and I’m sorry this didn’t work out how it was supposed to.”)
The character apology. (“I apologise, and I’m sorry — I’m unwell and need help.”)
The circumstantial apology. (“I apologise, and I’m sorry I wasn’t better prepared.”)
The transactional apology. (“I apologise, and I’m sorry, but I have since paid my dues.”)
From a PR perspective, I recommend only one type of apology:
The Stoic apology. (“I apologise, and I’m sorry — I did wrong, and I take full responsibility for my actions.”)
Moving Into the Next Stage
Apart from an honest delivery, this is what a wrongdoer must understand about the strategic use of a public apology as a strategic tool:
Public apologies are not a method of obtaining absolution or mitigating the loss of public trust. Forgiveness and trust must be earned separately and in the long term.
A public apology is a tool to allow the media narrative to move into the next stage sooner rather than later — whatever that stage might hold in store for the wrongdoer.
I enjoy coaching media spokespeople. It’s rewarding, and significant progress can often be made during the first session.
Media spokesperson training.
Here’s how to approach your very first media training as a media trainer yourself:
Train for an actual appearance. General media training is inefficient. There should be an actual media appearance coming up. The upcoming media appearance will sharpen our practice sessions. The reality of the situation will make a huge difference.
Roll the camera already. When we have a rough idea of what the spokesperson should say, I don’t bother about tonality, gimmicks, personas, choice of clothes, etc. Instead, I start the video camera. Go! Since there is little preparation, we can quickly identify the problems.
Allow for self-correction. After each attempt, I play the video back. As we watch the footage, I ask the person in training what they think. Sometimes, there’s nervous laughter. Sometimes, there’s uncomfortable squirming. Other times, the mood gets serious. But without me having to give any notes whatsoever, the spokesperson immediately self-corrects. After experiencing a catalogue of emotions from watching oneself deliver corporate cringe unprepared, the spokesperson soon wants to try again. We will keep doing this until the spokesperson is “done” and ready for careful input from the media trainer.
Use Socratic questioning. Instead of giving notes, I practice Socratic questioning. “Did you like or dislike the way you delivered the message? How did it feel when you changed your approach?” These types of questions can admittedly be annoying, but the spokesperson is often too engaged in their performance to bother about how I behave. Some might seek my approval during the process, but it’s easy to deflect and redirect their questions back at them. “What parts did you like? What parts do you want to change?”
Explain the process at the end. When we’re nearing the end of the training session, either by sheer fatigue or scheduling constraints, some spokespersons start to think about my role in all of this. “Why is Jerry not giving, only asking me questions instead of giving feedback? Why is Jerry not telling me what to do — or what not to do?” Leaders want to know that they’re getting their money’s worth. So, I typically end the first training session by explaining that media training should allow the media spokesperson to ”excavate” their best media persona. It’s always somewhere, but they must pull it out themselves.
Speaking with a reporter while adhering to best practices in media training is straightforward in theory but difficult in real-life situations.
Classic media training advice.
Here are some classic media training advice:
Never speculate. Anything you say before a reporter could be recorded and used against you later. Therefore, avoid speculating since you might be proven wrong, or your guesses could be conveyed as faulty statements of facts to discredit you later.
Stay on message. Develop 3 – 4 key points you want to convey and consistently steer the conversation back to those messages. This helps ensure that your core messages are communicated clearly and frequently. 2Silfwer, J. (2024, May 2). The Core Message. Doctor Spin | The PR Blog. https://doctorspin.net/core-message/
Be prepared. Before any media interaction, familiarise yourself with the journalist, their recent work, and the media outlet’s audience. Preparation will help you tailor your messages and anticipate potential questions. 3Silfwer, J. (2022, June 28). Media Spokesperson Training: Get Your Message Across. Doctor Spin | The PR Blog. https://doctorspin.net/media-spokesperson/
Avoid jargon. Speak in plain language to ensure your audience understands your message. Industry-specific terms can confuse listeners and dilute the impact of your message. 4Silfwer, J. (2015, October 9). The Platitude Sickness: The Trash of CorporateWriting. Doctor Spin | The PR Blog. https://doctorspin.net/platitude-sickness/
Be concise. Offer brief, clear responses to avoid misinterpretation. Long, complicated answers can lead to snippets being taken out of context.
Use bridging techniques. If asked a difficult or off-topic question, use bridging phrases like “What’s important to remember is…” to transition back to your key messages.
Never lie. Always tell the truth. If you don’t know the answer, say so. Lying can damage your reputation and credibility if the truth emerges later.
Monitor your body language. Non-verbal cues can say as much as your words. Maintain an open posture and eye contact to convey honesty and confidence.
Practice. Rehearse your key points and potential questions with a colleague or a media trainer to refine your delivery and timing. If possible, do it on camera for easier review.
Manage your emotions. Remain calm and composed, even if the questioning becomes aggressive. Emotional responses can be portrayed negatively.
Correct mistakes. If you misspeak, correct yourself immediately. This prevents misinformation from spreading and shows your commitment to accuracy.
Control the pace. Speak slowly and clearly to give yourself time to think and to ensure your points are understood.
Use examples and anecdotes. Personal stories or specific examples can make your message more relatable and memorable.
Know when to stop talking. After making a point, it’s okay to stop speaking. Filling silence with unnecessary elaboration can lead to errors or off-message statements.
Anticipate difficult questions. Prepare for tough questions in advance so you can handle them confidently without being caught off guard.
No blame-gaming. Emphasise hopeful aspects and solutions rather than dwelling on negative issues or blame.
Avoid non-apologies. Either you’re truly sorry and wish to apologise — or you don’t. There’s no in-between. Make up your mind beforehand. 5Silfwer, J. (2020, July 26). When a Public Apology is Warranted (And When It’s Not). Doctor Spin | The PR Blog. https://doctorspin.net/public-apology/
Avoid “no comment.” This phrase can appear evasive. If you can’t discuss a topic, explain why, perhaps citing privacy or legal reasons. 6Silfwer, J. (2020, May 23). Corporate Cringe. Doctor Spin | The PR Blog. https://doctorspin.net/corporate-cringe/
Be mindful of the background. The setting of your interview can also send messages. Ensure the environment reflects the image you wish to convey.
Respect deadlines. Understanding a journalist’s deadline and responding promptly can help shape the story and foster a positive relationship.
Follow up. After the interview, promptly send any promised information or clarifications. This helps ensure accuracy and maintains a professional relationship.
Standing before a camera or a microphone can be stressful, especially during a crisis. Therefore, many leaders, politicians, and communication professionals invest in professional media training.
However, media training isn’t a magical fix.
Media training mistakes.
Media training can be taken too far.
Answers Without Substance
Typical media training advice: If the reporter asks, “Is it unsafe to work for you?” You often can’t say ‘yes.’ Just because it was unsafe once at one location doesn’t mean all related work environments are unsafe. You can’t say ‘no,’ either. It was unsafe in this specific situation. You’re being cornered! The only thing you can do is focus on what you actually can say.
How this advice backfires: Being “media trained,” a spokesperson can get over-confident in their abilities. And so, they believe that they can get away with card-stacking and talking themselves out of the situation. Reporters are trained to spot this behaviour, and instead of letting the spokesperson off the hook, they start probing even harder.
What to do instead: Prepare your Q&A better. You must have something of substance to say before entering the interview situation. Even if you could talk out of a tricky question without saying anything of substance, the audience will dislike you for avoiding the question.
Exaggerating the Bridge Technique
Typical media training advice: Use the bridge technique. While unable or unwilling to accept the fundamentals of the question, the interviewee can add context, and by doing so, it’s often possible to slide over to prepared statements and talking points. 7Silfwer, J. (2022, June 28). Media Spokesperson Training: Get Your Message Across. Doctor Spin | The PR Blog. https://doctorspin.net/media-spokesperson/
How this advice backfires: It’s easy to grasp the mechanics of the bridge technique. The reporter asks a question, doesn’t answer it, and then discusses what you want to highlight. Too often, media-trained spokespeople take this technique way too far. It’s impolite at best and doesn’t look good on camera.
What to do instead: When you’ve answered a question, adding additional context or insight into your initiative can be helpful to the reporter. But always ensure you add context or insight relevant to the original question.
Parrotting Your Key Message
Typical media training advice: Prepare a shortlist with key statements you want to convey. These statements will help when pressed by a reporter.
How this advice backfires: At times, media-trained spokespersons might decide to repeat their prepared statements word-for-word, over and over again. An irritated reporter could quickly punish you by airing this type of “parrot behaviour” — and it’ll be terrible both on camera and in audio. 8Silfwer, J. (2020, May 23). Corporate Cringe. Doctor Spin | The PR Blog. https://doctorspin.net/corporate-cringe/
What to do instead: Write down single words to represent your intended talking points, and remember these instead of actual phrases. Don’t memorise word-for-word statements. And most importantly, don’t say the same thing repeatedly.
Staring Down the Reporter
Typical media training advice: Most journalists use a common trick to remain silent instead of firing another question. For most people, this silence is awkward and unpleasant. To escape this unpleasantness, they start talking aimlessly. The rule of thumb is to be comfortable and allow for a little quiet now and then.
How this advice backfires: Allowing for silence is essential, but you do not need to sit there and stare intensely for 30 seconds. Because this doesn’t look good, either. Many media-trained spokespersons apply this advice by triumphantly trying to stare down the reporter.
What to do instead: If the reporter is serious about staying quiet for a long time, carefully use the bridge technique to add more context and insight. But take a few moments in silence to think about what you’ll say before you open your mouth. The key is not to be afraid of silence, feel the need to fill these pauses with excessive talk, or enter some staring contest with the reporter.
Relying on Non-Apologies
Typical media training advice: Don’t be afraid to apologise. Making an apology publicly is sometimes just the right thing to do. The important thing here is not to sound like a robot but to make sure you genuinely empathise.
How this advice backfires: More often than not, media-trained spokespeople say things like, “We’re sorry they feel this way,” “We’re sorry if this didn’t come across,” or “We’re sorry that you’re sorry.” These statements are also known as non-apologies — and everyone rightfully hates them. 9Silfwer, J. (2020, July 26). When a Public Apology is Warranted (And When It’s Not). Doctor Spin | The PR Blog. https://doctorspin.net/public-apology/
What to do instead: Connecting through emotions means talking and acting like a human being. Don’t say that you’re sad; be sad. And even more importantly, avoid non-apologies altogether. It’s about your feelings on the matter, not theirs. If you can’t express human emotions like empathy during difficult times, see a therapist, not a reporter.
Using Platitudes and Jargon
Typical media training advice: Never speculate. Nothing good ever came from second-guessing anything in front of a reporter. Stick to what you know.
How this advice backfires: Media-trained spokespeople rarely say things like “no comment” or “I can neither confirm nor deny.” They know better. However, resorting, as many do, to platitudes and jargon instead is not a much better strategy. 10Silfwer, J. (2015, October 9). The Platitude Sickness: The Trash of Corporate Writing. Doctor Spin | The PR Blog. https://doctorspin.net/platitude-sickness/
What to do instead: Avoid corporate cringe. Talk like you would with someone you met on the street asking for directions you do not know, and never resort to platitudes.
Transposing Human Emotions
Typical media training advice: The story is always about people, so you should focus on those directly involved. Addressing shareholders, markets, and customers will have to come second.
How this advice backfires: To address the human aspect, many spokespeople make the mistake of trying too hard to reassure people. But it’s never a good idea to tell people not to worry if they aren’t ready. If you contradict people’s feelings, you’re actively disqualifying their real emotions.
What to do instead: Don’t talk about other people as if you have magical insights into how they feel. Once again, it’s about your feelings, not theirs.
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Psst! What should you study next?
Stoic Philosophy for Public Relations
I’m inspired by Stoicism — and intrigued by the idea of translating classical Stoic virtues (wisdom, courage, justice, temperance) and applying them to public relations:
The Wisdom Pitch
“A Stoic is someone who transforms fear into prudence, pain into transformation, mistakes into initiation, and desires into undertaking.” — Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Tell PR stories of how organisations can be wise and overcome obstacles that have stopped others in their tracks. Convey PR messages on how to apply wisdom, knowledge, and experience.
The Courage Pitch
“We cannot choose our circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.” — Epictetus
Tell PR stories of brands that never back down in the face of hardships that would destroy other organisations. Convey PR messages of how an organisation can be righteous even when storms are raging.
The Justice Pitch
“Concentrate every minute on doing what’s in front of you with precise and genuine seriousness, tenderly, willingly, with justice.” — Marcus Aurelius
Tell PR stories of how organisations relentlessly can strive for honesty and transparency — even when uncomfortable. Convey PR messages about how all brands, without exception, can rid themselves of dishonesty and incompetence.
The Temperance Pitch
“It’s not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, who is poor.” — Seneca
Tell PR stories of organisations that strive for higher values in a world where all other organisations suffer shortsightedness. Convey PR messages of organisations prepared to abstain from short-term gains to make the world better for all.
An organisation is the polyphonic sum of all its coworkers. Imagine extracting each coworker’s most virtuous and mature traits and combining them into one voice — the Stoic tonality.
Openness. A virtuous organisation understands that everyone must be allowed to express their thoughts and opinions.
Fairness. A virtuous organisation will see (and respect) both sides of a divisive argument.
Strength. A virtuous organisation is confident in its chosen strategies and acquired abilities, not because they’re perfect, but because they are grounded.
Wisdom. A virtuous organisation will take the time to explain complex topics without condescending.
Humility. A virtuous organisation understands that no one can have everything completely figured out and that we all have learning and growing to do.
Stoic Tonality Examples
“Why doesn’t your brand speak out against industrial overfishing killing our oceans?”
“As a company that sells fishing gear, we want our oceans — and all animals and plants living in them! — to be healthy and plentiful. We, too, were disturbed by the recent news of overfishing. How could anyone not be? We now ask ourselves, how can our company make more of a difference? Honestly, we’re discussing our strategy for sustainability every day. I cannot say how or when we might take specific action regarding this latest news, but rest assured that we’re taking the general issue of saving our oceans seriously.”
“Why doesn’t your brand engage in Black Lives Matter?”
“As for right now, we’re listening. We’re listening to the stories being told. We’re listening to understand better how we can learn and grow as a company. As for inclusiveness and human rights in general, we think we’re doing a great job, and part of that is to stay open and carefully listen to people’s stories. We might take specific actions, but we’re listening and learning.”
“Why doesn’t your brand join our protests against toxic masculinity and the patriarchy?”
“Honestly, we’re a product company. We make products for anyone who likes them. And I dare say that we’re experts in making these products. However, we’re not experts on ideologies or societal structures. So, for now, we listen. And we continue to focus on making the best products that we can. For everyone. We believe that’s our best way of contributing at this point.”
“Why doesn’t your brand sign our petition to boycott all companies on our Environmental Black List?”
“As a company, we operate differently. Instead of signing petitions or participating in other public demonstrations, we take action within our sphere of influence. And I dare say that our many environmental initiatives are making a lot of difference worldwide relative to our size and reach. If we were to sign your petition, we would first have to use our resources to research the legitimacy of its creators and then make sure that none of the companies on that list is being wrongfully accused. While it would be possible, we’ve decided that we can do more good by directing our resources to where we can make the most difference.”
“Why doesn’t your company act against your female employees who take time off for abortions?”
“All our employees are grown-ups, and what they do on their own time is frankly none of our business. We’re a large company, and we have employees who are pro-life and pro-choice. We believe we have a workplace where people can have different opinions but still respect each other and work well together.”
“Why hasn’t your company offered your thoughts and prayers for the victims and their families of the school shooting?”
“The victims and their families have our empathies, of course. I speak for everyone working at our company when I say we were devastated by the news as everyone else. But you’re right that we haven’t posted any status updates about the shooting on our Facebook page. It’s not that we don’t care (we do!), it’s just that we focus our updates on our products and services and how they make a positive difference in the world.”
Jerry Silfwer, alias Doctor Spin, is an awarded senior adviser specialising in public relations and digital strategy. Currently CEO at Spin Factory and KIX Communication Index. Before that, he worked at Kaufmann, Whispr Group, Springtime PR, and Spotlight PR. Based in Stockholm, Sweden.
The Cover Photo
The cover photo isn't related to public relations obviously; it's just a photo of mine. Think of it as a 'decorative diversion', a subtle reminder that it's good to have hobbies outside work.
The cover photo has
Spiky tree.
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