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Media & PsychologyPersuasion & Influence

Communication Skills (That Everyone Should Learn)

Make sure to master these communication skills.

Jerry Silfwer
by Jerry Silfwer

Cover photo: @jerrysilfwer

Table of contents

These are some com­mu­nic­a­tion skills every­one should learn.

I’ve been work­ing with stra­tegic com­mu­nic­a­tions since 2005. Before that, I stud­ied Public Relations and Linguistics at the Mid Sweden University.

But com­mu­nic­a­tion isn’t just a pro­fes­sion­al endeav­our. Everyone uses com­mu­nic­a­tion every day, all the time. And there are some basic com­mu­nic­a­tion skills that every­one should learn.

Here we go:

Communication Skills: Active Listening

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Communication Skills: Active Listening

Active listen­ing is a corner­stone com­mu­nic­a­tion skill that enriches per­son­al and pro­fes­sion­al rela­tion­ships by fos­ter­ing a deep­er under­stand­ing and con­nec­tion between people. It involves fully con­cen­trat­ing on, under­stand­ing, respond­ing to, and remem­ber­ing what is being said. 

In every­day life, act­ive listen­ing enhances empathy and under­stand­ing, reduces con­flicts, and improves prob­lem-solv­ing cap­ab­il­it­ies. It turns com­mu­nic­a­tion into a two-way street, where feed­back flows seam­lessly, ensur­ing all parties feel heard and valued. 

Active listen­ers can cre­ate a more mean­ing­ful exchange of ideas, feel­ings, and inform­a­tion by truly enga­ging with the speak­er, which is vital for build­ing trust and strength­en­ing bonds.

To become a bet­ter act­ive listen­er, con­sider these five tips:

  • Give your full atten­tion. Avoid dis­trac­tions by put­ting away your phone, turn­ing off the TV, or clos­ing your laptop. Make eye con­tact with the speak­er, sig­nalling that your focus is entirely on them.
  • Show that you’re listen­ing. Use non-verbal cues such as nod­ding, smil­ing, and main­tain­ing an open pos­ture. These sig­nals reas­sure the speak­er that you are engaged and inter­ested in their words.
  • Provide feed­back. Reflect on what has been said by para­phras­ing or sum­mar­iz­ing the main points. Ask cla­ri­fy­ing ques­tions to deep­en your under­stand­ing and show you are pro­cessing the information.
  • Don’t inter­rupt. Let the speak­er fin­ish their thoughts without jump­ing in with your solu­tions or opin­ions. Interrupting dis­rupts the flow of con­ver­sa­tion and sug­gests that your focus is on respond­ing rather than understanding.
  • Respond appro­pri­ately. When it’s your turn to speak, respond in a way that acknow­ledges the speak­er­’s feel­ings and per­spect­ive. Offer insights or advice gently, ensur­ing your response is con­struct­ive and empathetic.

By hon­ing your act­ive listen­ing skills, you can sig­ni­fic­antly improve your inter­ac­tions and rela­tion­ships, mak­ing every com­mu­nic­a­tion more pro­duct­ive and meaningful.

Learn more: Communication Skills (That Everyone Should Learn)

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Communication Skills: Small Talk

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Communication Skill: Small Talk

Small talk is an essen­tial com­mu­nic­a­tion skill in every­day life, act­ing as the social glue that ini­ti­ates deep­er con­ver­sa­tions and con­nec­tions between indi­vidu­als. It’s the art of enga­ging in light, cas­u­al con­ver­sa­tion about com­mon, non-con­tro­ver­sial top­ics, which is cru­cial for build­ing rap­port and trust in per­son­al and pro­fes­sion­al settings. 

Small talk lays the found­a­tion for rela­tion­ships, eases the awk­ward­ness in new encoun­ters, and cre­ates a friendly atmo­sphere that can lead to more sig­ni­fic­ant, mean­ing­ful exchanges. 

By mas­ter­ing small talk, indi­vidu­als can nav­ig­ate social situ­ations more com­fort­ably, open doors to new oppor­tun­it­ies, and foster a sense of com­munity and belonging.

Here are five tips to become a bet­ter small talker:

  • Be obser­v­ant. Use your sur­round­ings or cur­rent events as con­ver­sa­tion starters. Commenting on some­thing rel­ev­ant to you and your con­ver­sa­tion part­ner can spark an enga­ging chat.
  • Ask open-ended ques­tions. Encourage the oth­er per­son to talk more about them­selves by ask­ing ques­tions that require more than a yes or no answer. This shows genu­ine interest and keeps the con­ver­sa­tion flowing.
  • Listen act­ively. Show that you’re listen­ing by nod­ding, mak­ing eye con­tact, and offer­ing rel­ev­ant responses or fol­low-up ques­tions. Active listen­ing can make the oth­er per­son feel val­ued and open up more.
  • Share about your­self. Small talk is a two-way street. Share bits and pieces about your­self to make the con­ver­sa­tion more recip­roc­al and to find com­mon ground.
  • Practice pos­it­iv­ity. Keep the con­ver­sa­tion light and pos­it­ive. People are nat­ur­ally drawn to pos­it­ive energy, and main­tain­ing an upbeat tone can make small talk more enjoy­able and less stressful.

By employ­ing these tips, you can improve your small talk skills, mak­ing every­day inter­ac­tions more pleas­ant and fruit­ful, and pav­ing the way for deep­er connections.

Learn more: Communication Skills (That Everyone Should Learn)

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Communication Skills: Presenting Slides

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Communication Skill: Presenting Slides

Presenting slides effect­ively is a valu­able com­mu­nic­a­tion skill that extends bey­ond the board­room into every­day life. Organising your thoughts into slides not only cla­ri­fies your mes­sage for your audi­ence but also aids in struc­tur­ing your under­stand­ing of the material. 

Whether at work, a com­munity meet­ing, or even a fam­ily gath­er­ing, con­vey­ing inform­a­tion through slides can sig­ni­fic­antly impact how your mes­sage is received. 

For nervous presenters, slides serve as a visu­al aid and cue card, redu­cing anxi­ety and improv­ing deliv­ery. Furthermore, well-designed slides enhance com­pre­hen­sion, mak­ing it easi­er for the audi­ence to grasp com­plex con­cepts or data. 

Here are five tips to become a bet­ter slide presenter:

  • Keep it simple. Use min­im­al text and focus on key points. Overloaded slides can over­whelm your audi­ence, so stick to the essen­tials and elab­or­ate verbally.
  • Use visu­als wisely. Incorporate rel­ev­ant images, charts, and graphs to com­ple­ment your mes­sage. Visual aids can make abstract con­cepts more tan­gible and engaging.
  • Practice your flow. Familiarize your­self with the sequence of your slides and prac­tice your present­a­tion to ensure smooth trans­itions between top­ics. This pre­par­a­tion helps main­tain a nat­ur­al pace and keeps the audi­ence engaged.
  • Engage with your audi­ence. Rather than just read­ing off the slides, make eye con­tact, ask ques­tions, and invite par­ti­cip­a­tion. This inter­ac­tion makes the present­a­tion more dynam­ic and memorable.
  • Tailor your present­a­tion. Consider your audi­ence’s back­ground and interests when design­ing your slides and deliv­ery. Customising your present­a­tion ensures that your mes­sage res­on­ates and is access­ible to all attendees.

By embra­cing these tips, you can elev­ate your slide present­a­tion skills, mak­ing your com­mu­nic­a­tion clear­er, more per­suas­ive, and impact­ful, regard­less of the set­ting or sub­ject matter.

Learn more: Communication Skills (That Everyone Should Learn)

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Communication Skill: Asking Questions

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Communication Skill: Asking Questions

Asking fol­low-up ques­tions is a crit­ic­al com­mu­nic­a­tion skill that enriches con­ver­sa­tions and deep­ens under­stand­ing in every­day life. It demon­strates act­ive listen­ing and genu­ine interest in the speak­er­’s per­spect­ive, fos­ter­ing a more mean­ing­ful dialogue. 

Whether in per­son­al rela­tion­ships, pro­fes­sion­al set­tings, or cas­u­al encoun­ters, the abil­ity to ask insight­ful fol­low-up ques­tions encour­ages open­ness, clar­ity, and connection. 

This skill is par­tic­u­larly effect­ive when guided by the Socratic Method, which uses prob­ing ques­tions to stim­u­late crit­ic­al think­ing and illu­min­ate ideas. Conversations move bey­ond sur­face-level exchanges by enga­ging in this man­ner, allow­ing par­ti­cipants to explore top­ics more pro­foundly and col­lab­or­at­ively. 1Socratic meth­od. (2024, January 11). In Wikipedia. https://​en​.wiki​pe​dia​.org/​w​i​k​i​/​S​o​c​r​a​t​i​c​_​m​e​t​hod

Here are five tips to become bet­ter at ask­ing fol­low-up questions:

  • Listen act­ively. Pay close atten­tion to what the speak­er is say­ing without plan­ning your response while they speak. This focus will help you identi­fy key points and gaps in under­stand­ing that your fol­low-up ques­tions can address.
  • Embrace curi­os­ity. Approach con­ver­sa­tions genu­inely to learn more about the oth­er per­son’s thoughts and feel­ings. This mind­set will nat­ur­ally lead to more in-depth and insight­ful questions.
  • Utilize the Socratic Method. Frame your ques­tions in a way that encour­ages the speak­er to think deeply and artic­u­late their reas­on­ing. This meth­od pro­motes a rich­er explor­a­tion of the top­ic at hand.
  • Be spe­cif­ic. Tailor your fol­low-up ques­tions to spe­cif­ic details men­tioned by the speak­er. This spe­cificity shows that you’re engaged and seek­ing a deep­er under­stand­ing of their perspective.
  • Encourage open-ended responses. Phrase your ques­tions to eli­cit more than a yes/​no answer. Open-ended ques­tions invite elab­or­a­tion and allow the speak­er to share more com­pre­hens­ive insights.

Mastering the art of ask­ing fol­low-up ques­tions enriches com­mu­nic­a­tion and strengthens rela­tion­ships by build­ing mutu­al respect and under­stand­ing. Conversations become more enga­ging and inform­at­ive through this prac­tice, offer­ing a path­way to deep­er con­nec­tions and insights.

Learn more: Communication Skills (That Everyone Should Learn)

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Communication Skill: Drafting

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Communication Skill: Drafting

Drafting, cre­at­ing, and refin­ing writ­ten doc­u­ments are fun­da­ment­al com­mu­nic­a­tion skills cru­cial in every­day life. From com­pos­ing emails and writ­ing reports to craft­ing per­son­al let­ters or social media posts, the abil­ity to draft and edit doc­u­ments ensures clar­ity, coher­ence, and effect­ive­ness in con­vey­ing messages. 

“The first draft of any­thing is shit.”
— Ernest Hemingway

Many indi­vidu­als struggle with writ­ing not because they lack ideas but because they under­es­tim­ate the power of revi­sion. The ini­tial draft is rarely per­fect; it’s through revis­ing this draft — trans­form­ing it into a second, third, or even fourth draft — that one hones the mes­sage, sharpens the lan­guage, and strengthens the over­all communication. 

Developing a habit of draft­ing and edit­ing allows for explor­ing ideas, refin­ing thought, and elim­in­at­ing ambi­gu­ity, mak­ing the final product more impact­ful and under­stood by its inten­ded audience.

To become bet­ter at draft­ing, con­sider these five tips:

  • Embrace the pro­cess. Accept that draft­ing is a pro­cess that involves writ­ing, revis­it­ing, and revis­ing. Your first draft is just the begin­ning, not the end product.
  • Separate writ­ing from edit­ing. Allow your­self to write freely in the ini­tial draft without wor­ry­ing about per­fec­tion. Focus on get­ting your ideas down, then shift to edit­ing mode to refine your work.
  • Read aloud. Reading your draft aloud can help you catch errors, awk­ward phras­ing, and unclear areas. This prac­tice can also improve the rhythm and flow of your writing.
  • Seek feed­back. Don’t hes­it­ate to share your drafts with oth­ers. Feedback can provide new per­spect­ives and insights that you might have overlooked.
  • Use tools wisely. Use writ­ing and edit­ing tools (such as large lan­guage mod­els, gram­mar check­ers, or style guides) to help identi­fy areas for improve­ment. However, always apply your judg­ment to ensure sug­ges­tions align with your inten­ded mes­sage and voice.

Incorporating these strategies into your writ­ing routine can elev­ate your draft­ing skills, lead­ing to pre­cise, com­pel­ling, and effect­ive writ­ten com­mu­nic­a­tion in every aspect of your life.

Learn more: Communication Skills (That Everyone Should Learn)

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Thanks for read­ing. Please con­sider shar­ing my pub­lic rela­tions blog with oth­er com­mu­nic­a­tion and mar­ket­ing pro­fes­sion­als. If you have ques­tions (or want to retain my PR ser­vices), please con­tact me at jerry@​spinfactory.​com.

PR Resource: Checklist for Leadership Clarity

“The single biggest prob­lem in com­mu­nic­a­tion is the illu­sion that it has taken place.”
— George Bernard Shaw

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The Checklist for Communicative Leadership

How can you ensure your lead­er­ship is express­ive and pre­cise in prac­tic­al situations? 

As a rule of thumb:

  • It’s gen­er­ally bet­ter to “over-com­mu­nic­ate” (tol­er­able added effort) than “under-com­mu­nic­ate” (sub­stan­tial added risk).

Make sure to pass these com­mu­nic­at­ive lead­er­ship checks:

  • This is what we are doing.
    Is the explan­a­tion clear? Do you have ques­tions? Can you repeat the inform­a­tion back to me?
  • This is why we are doing it.
    Is the explan­a­tion clear? Do you have ques­tions? Can you repeat the inform­a­tion back to me?
  • This is who will be doing it.
    Is the explan­a­tion clear? Do you have ques­tions? Can you repeat the inform­a­tion back to me?
  • This is how we are doing it.
    Is the explan­a­tion clear? Do you have ques­tions? Can you repeat the inform­a­tion back to me?
  • This is when we are doing it.
    Is the explan­a­tion clear? Do you have ques­tions? Can you repeat the inform­a­tion back to me?
  • This is where we are doing it.
    Is the explan­a­tion clear? Do you have ques­tions? Can you repeat the inform­a­tion back to me?
  • This is for whom we are doing it.
    Is the explan­a­tion clear? Do you have ques­tions? Can you repeat the inform­a­tion back to me?

Being a great lead­er can be a daunt­ing task. However, with effort (and atten­tion to detail), all lead­ers can prac­tice express­ive and pre­cise communication.

“Expressive and pre­cise com­mu­nic­a­tion styles have a stronger link to lead­er out­comes than per­son­al­ity traits extra­ver­sion and con­scien­tious­ness.”
Source: Human Performance 2Bakker-Pieper, A., & Vries, R. (2013). The Incremental Validity of Communication Styles Over Personality Traits for Leader Outcomes. Human Performance, 26, 1 – … Continue read­ing

Learn more: The Checklist for Communicative Leadership

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ANNOTATIONS
ANNOTATIONS
1 Socratic meth­od. (2024, January 11). In Wikipedia. https://​en​.wiki​pe​dia​.org/​w​i​k​i​/​S​o​c​r​a​t​i​c​_​m​e​t​hod
2 Bakker-Pieper, A., & Vries, R. (2013). The Incremental Validity of Communication Styles Over Personality Traits for Leader Outcomes. Human Performance, 26, 1 – 19. https://​doi​.org/​1​0​.​1​0​8​0​/​0​8​9​5​9​2​8​5​.​2​0​1​2​.​7​3​6​900
Jerry Silfwer
Jerry Silfwerhttps://doctorspin.net/
Jerry Silfwer, alias Doctor Spin, is an awarded senior adviser specialising in public relations and digital strategy. Currently CEO at Spin Factory and KIX Communication Index. Before that, he worked at Kaufmann, Whispr Group, Springtime PR, and Spotlight PR. Based in Stockholm, Sweden.

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The cover photo isn't related to public relations; it's just a photo of mine. Think of it as a 'decorative diversion', a subtle reminder that there is more to life than strategic communication.

The cover photo has

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