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Top 5 Communication Skills Everyone Should Know

We can all strive to become better at communication.

Jerry Silfwer
by Jerry Silfwer

Cover photo: @jerrysilfwer

Reading time: 3 min.

These are the top 5 com­mu­nic­a­tion skills every­one should use.

I’ve been work­ing with stra­tegic com­mu­nic­a­tion since 2005. Before that, I stud­ied Public Relations and Linguistics at the uni­ver­sity for five years.

One might say that I’m fas­cin­ated by com­mu­nic­a­tion skills.

Based on my exper­i­ence, I’ve care­fully selec­ted five access­ible com­mu­nic­a­tion skills use­ful for every­one. Also, these are five skills that, with only a little con­sid­er­a­tion and prac­tice, will make the largest impact.

Here we go:

Table of Contents 

Top 5 Communication Skills

The top 5 com­mu­nic­a­tions skills that bring the most benefit:

  • Know your agenda.
  • Listen first.
  • Ask ques­tions.
  • Quid pro quo.
  • Use your words.

Here I describe each com­mu­nic­a­tion skill in more detail:

1. Know Your Agenda

Knowing your agenda before­hand is some­thing almost any­one can improve. If you have an idea of what you’re seek­ing to accom­plish, you could strive to nar­row your focus to max­im­ise your chances. 1“Agenda” is a multi-faceted word. It’s asso­ci­ated with busi­ness meet­ings. It’s asso­ci­ated with polit­ics. It’s asso­ci­ated with the news media. It’s asso­ci­ated with ulteri­or motives. But an agenda can … Continue read­ing

Many people inter­act with oth­ers without an idea of which agenda to push. Some people think it’s devi­ous to always be enter­ing into con­ver­sa­tion with a clear aim. Others find it exhausting.

Please note: Knowing your agenda isn’t the same as push­ing hard for desired out­comes. Knowing your agenda alone will make you more clear, assert­ive, and con­fid­ent. Clarity, assert­ive­ness, and con­fid­ence will give you the most res­ults rel­at­ive to your effort.

2. Listen First

Here’s the thing: Most people leak vast amounts of valu­able inform­a­tion about them­selves while talk­ing. To com­mu­nic­ate suc­cess­fully, you’ll need all that information.

It’s counter-intu­it­ive, but keep­ing your mouth shut when you know exactly what out­come you seek requires char­ac­ter. And being an act­ive listen­er requires dis­cip­line. Many people say they’re good listen­ers, but few are.

Although listen­ing is gen­er­ally more valu­able to the listen­er, most people like being heard. So, you’re not likely to exper­i­ence push­back for being a good listener.

3. Ask Questions

Asking ques­tions is a Socratic com­mu­nic­a­tion skill known to be valu­able. Still, few embrace the art of ask­ing great questions.

  • You should ask ques­tions with the intent of under­stand­ing, not seek flaws in your oppon­ent’s argument. 
  • You should ask ques­tions to make the con­ver­sa­tion pro­duct­ive, not to sig­nal any­thing about yourself. 
  • You should ask ques­tions to open new path­ways of explor­a­tion, not to close down roads.

The dif­fer­ence between ask­ing ques­tions badly and greatly is massive. If you’ve nev­er thought about how to ask ques­tions, a little extra con­sid­er­a­tion and prac­tice are likely to improve your com­mu­nic­a­tion skills significantly.

4. Quid Pro Quo

If you get your way, what will you be pre­pared to give? What do you have to offer that would be of value to someone else? 

Eager to get their way, people often for­get their per­son­al value pro­pos­i­tion. Sometimes, the people you inter­act with only want to be seen, heard, and appre­ci­ated. How can you expect to com­mu­nic­ate suc­cess­fully if you’re not pre­pared to ful­fil such basic human needs?

Everyone has some­thing to offer in a con­ver­sa­tion. It can any­thing, like know­ledge, gos­sip, or psy­cho­lo­gic­al val­id­a­tion. If you don’t think that you have any­thing that’s of value to oth­er people, you must begin by examin­ing your self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

5. Use Your Words

Some people will com­mu­nic­ate unfairly. This might be due to malice or uncon­scious biases. It does­n’t mat­ter. It’s how they com­mu­nic­ate, not you. You should stick to your words.

Others will always use their words, argu­ments, and per­spect­ives. This is okay as long as you always use yours. Especially when someone asks a loaded ques­tion or makes a blanket statement. 

Never assim­il­ate the vocab­u­lary used by oth­ers. Even if you can turn someone’s words, argu­ments, or per­spect­ives against them, your points will be cheap. Long-term, your com­mu­nic­a­tion will be unproductive.

And remem­ber:

“The single biggest prob­lem with com­mu­nic­a­tion is the illu­sion that it has taken place.”
— George Bernard Shaw

Please sup­port my blog by shar­ing it with oth­er PR- and com­mu­nic­a­tion pro­fes­sion­als. For ques­tions or PR sup­port, con­tact me via jerry@​spinfactory.​com.

PR Resource: Checklist for Leadership Clarity

Checklist for Communicative Leadership

Always make sure that every­one in an organ­isa­tion is 100% clear about the following:

  • This is what we are doing. Is this clear? Do you have any ques­tions? Can you repeat it back to me?
  • This is why we are doing it. Is this clear? Do you have any ques­tions? Can you repeat it back to me?
  • This is who will be doing it. Is this clear? Do you have any ques­tions? Can you repeat it back to me?
  • This is how we are doing it. Is this clear? Do you have any ques­tions? Can you repeat it back to me?
  • This is when we are doing it. Is this clear? Do you have any ques­tions? Can you repeat it back to me?
  • This is where we are doing it. Is this clear? Do you have any ques­tions? Can you repeat it back to me?
  • This is for whom we are doing it. Is this clear? Do you have any ques­tions? Can you repeat it back to me?

Read more: How To Recognise Poor Communicative Leadership in Organisations

ANNOTATIONS
ANNOTATIONS
1 “Agenda” is a multi-faceted word. It’s asso­ci­ated with busi­ness meet­ings. It’s asso­ci­ated with polit­ics. It’s asso­ci­ated with the news media. It’s asso­ci­ated with ulteri­or motives. But an agenda can also be what you have in mind before enter­ing into a con­ver­sa­tion. Nothing more, noth­ing less.
Jerry Silfwer
Jerry Silfwerhttps://doctorspin.net/
Jerry Silfwer, alias Doctor Spin, is an awarded senior adviser specialising in public relations and digital strategy. Currently CEO at KIX Index and Spin Factory. Before that, he worked at Kaufmann, Whispr Group, Springtime PR, and Spotlight PR. Based in Stockholm, Sweden.

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