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My Fucket List: 23 Things To Never Try (The Reverse Bucket List)

My list of things that I will never ever try.

Cover photo: @jerrysilfwer

Table of contents

What’s a fuck­et list?

A fuck­et list is the oppos­ite of a buck­et list. And this is my list.

Now, accord­ing to Urban Dictionary, it could also be a spelt fuck­it list and refer to a list of people to have sexu­al inter­course with before you die. This list is not that type of list. 

A fuck­et list, in the most com­mon inter­pret­a­tion, is a list of all the things you don’t want to do before you die.

The rules of a fuck­et list are simple:

  • It must be some­thing you won’t do.
  • It must be some­thing that seems fun or reward­ing to others.
  • It’s okay to be some­what pass­ive-aggress­ive as you motiv­ate your choices (that’s mostly my rule).

Here we go:

My Fucket List

1. Jump Out of a Functional Aeroplane

As an intro­vert, rather than para­chut­ing, I prefer to throw myself into the abyss of lit­er­at­ure — or some­thing equally pre­ten­tious. Why? I don’t suf­fer from dopam­ine defi­ciency, I guess. I get my kicks from intern­al stimuli.

2. Buy Stuff To Show Off

Possessions tend to wear you down, and they could end up own­ing you instead. We should all work on ourselves instead of “chas­ing cars and clothes and buy­ing shit we don’t need.” 1Like many men of the Xennial gen­er­a­tion (I was born in 1979), my spir­it anim­al is Tyler Durden, the every­man char­ac­ter from Chuck Palachniuk’s nov­el “Fight Club” which was made into a … Continue read­ing

3. Run a Marathon

There must be health­i­er ways to get likes on Facebook than run­ning a mara­thon. It’s a hard pass from me.

4. Climb a Mountain

I can’t ima­gine what type of busi­ness I would have on the top of a moun­tain. I’m pas­sion­ate about nature pho­to­graphy, but I get ver­tigo. So, I’m out if it requires climb­ing gear and you can’t get the shot with a drone.

5. “Fit In”

I love hard-work­ing people. But people work­ing hard to “fit in” rub me the wrong way. I get anxious around them; what on Earth are they com­pens­at­ing for? I prefer to walk roads less trav­elled anyway.

6. Try Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation

Vanilla sex is under-appre­ci­ated, I think, but a few exper­i­ments here and there are fine and dandy. Nothing wrong with some naughty explor­a­tions. But brains need oxy­gen, right? Please tell me if I’m miss­ing some­thing here.

7. Geocaching

I’m geeky, sure. But not that geeky. I did play Pokemon Go for a stint; that should be enough run­ning around for no sens­ible reas­on whatsoever.

8. Join the “Mile High Club”

This just in: It’s not sexy to have inter­course where strangers defec­ate. Unless you’re into fae­ces and stuff, I guess. But even if you could man­age to have a good time any­way, I see no accom­plish­ment in brag­ging about the whole ordeal.

9. Sleep at a Cheap Hostel

I’m the type of per­son who would spend his last penny on an expens­ive hotel. I nev­er saw the romantic appeal of tra­vers­ing coun­tries while liv­ing like a hobo. Or (much) worse — like a woke mil­len­ni­al chas­ing some cheeky “travel influ­en­cer” dream. Also, I’ve seen all the hor­ror movies; I know what happens.

10. Go Bungee Jumping

Bungee jump­ing is per­haps thrill­ing and might come with some sense of accom­plish­ment, but I’ll nev­er accept that it’s “cool.” I’m also wary about those “expert bun­gee jump­ers” hook­ing you up to the rope — aren’t secur­ity pro­to­cols out of their wheel­house, as they’re lack­ing some highly use­ful per­cent­ages on the con­scien­tious per­son­al­ity trait axis?

11. Ask For a Celebrity Autograph

I hon­estly wouldn’t know what to do with a celebrity auto­graph. Take it out and look at it from time to time, per­haps. Sell it on eBay? Nah, none of that’s for me. I can fully appre­ci­ate anoth­er person’s work without hav­ing “a lock of their hair” or some­thing to that effect. I find ask­ing for an auto­graph bor­der­line creepy, hon­estly. 2This is also the reas­on why I nev­er buy souven­irs. Souvenirs are for seri­al killers and hoarders.

12. Respect Religious “Authority”

I accept being an athe­ist in a world dom­in­ated by super­sti­tious beliefs. But I think we, as a ration­al cohort absent of reli­gi­os­ity, are mor­ally obliged to chal­lenge unsub­stan­ti­ated claims — even if it’s mostly a waste of time.

13. Swim with Sharks

I feel no desire to swim with sharks. I know they’re peace­ful, and you can swim with them safely — if the con­di­tions are right. They keep out of my liv­ing room, so it makes sense for me to stay out of theirs.

14. See a Psychic for Answers

Some see psych­ics for answers, some for excite­ment, some for curi­os­ity, and oth­ers for a laugh with friends. I get all of that. But I can’t bring myself to incentiv­ise such shenanigans. Or put it like this: I’m open-minded enough to believe that our nat­ur­al world is unfathom­ably com­plex and extraordin­ar­ily beau­ti­ful — without resort­ing to seek­ing anoth­er person’s future in tea leaves.

15. Be a Toastmaster

I’m a decent pub­lic speak­er and have no prob­lem get­ting up in front of an audi­ence. Still, there’s some­thing about cere­mo­ni­al duties that makes my skin crawl. I can’t even pro­pose a form­al toast without feel­ing over­whelm­ingly cringy.

16. Play Golf

My tem­per could nev­er handle golf. I’m calm as a cucum­ber in life (a DNA mix from the North of Sweden will have that effect) but a hot­head in sports (think of John McEnroe, and you’ll get an idea). I do have a his­tory of wreak­ing hav­oc on expens­ive sports equip­ment, I’m ashamed to admit. I’m con­vinced that golf would “drive” me insane.

17. Run for a Political Office

I’m an intro­ver­ted pro­vocateur and iron­ic con­trari­an with a pro­nounced elit­ist streak. If every­one gets along, I’m com­pelled to stir some­thing up, or I’ll get bored out of my senses. Alas, I’m not har­bour­ing a mix of the most suit­able per­son­al­ity traits for pub­lic office. Sure, we’ve all seen worse, but still.

19. Hang Out with Wine Snobs

I don’t want to con­sort with indi­vidu­als who “know about wine.” They’re not my kind of people with their gurg­ling, burbling, and spit­ting. “Notes of cil­antro and burnt rub­ber”? Fuck you. Also, I don’t drink alcohol.

20. Join a Cult

Cults are out of the ques­tion for me — I’m just not a very good fol­low­er. Whenever more than five people seem eager to agree with each oth­er, the hairs on my arms stand up.

22. Join a Studio Crowd

Who are these people? They scare me. It’s some­thing about their smiles and their dead eyes, I think. My worst night­mare is find­ing myself in a lim­in­al space, a maze of cubicles and chirp­ing dial-up modems inter­con­nec­ted by yel­low-car­peted cor­ridors and flick­er­ing fluor­es­cent lights, as a cheer­ful stu­dio audi­ence is chas­ing me around. Don’t. Let. Them. Catch. Me.

23. Keep Up with the Kardashians

The Kardashian fam­ily is a media phe­nomen­on. As a PR pro­fes­sion­al, I should be inter­ested in all media phe­nom­ena, but I can’t muster up the will­power to sit through one of their episodes.

What’s on your fuck­et list?

Signature - Jerry Silfwer - Doctor Spin

Thanks for read­ing. Please con­sider shar­ing my pub­lic rela­tions blog with oth­er com­mu­nic­a­tion and mar­ket­ing pro­fes­sion­als. If you have ques­tions (or want to retain my PR ser­vices), please con­tact me at jerry@​spinfactory.​com.

1 Like many men of the Xennial gen­er­a­tion (I was born in 1979), my spir­it anim­al is Tyler Durden, the every­man char­ac­ter from Chuck Palachniuk’s nov­el “Fight Club” which was made into a suc­cess­ful movie dir­ec­ted by David Fincher in 1999.
2 This is also the reas­on why I nev­er buy souven­irs. Souvenirs are for seri­al killers and hoarders.
Jerry Silfwer
Jerry Silfwer
Jerry Silfwer, alias Doctor Spin, is an awarded senior adviser specialising in public relations and digital strategy. Currently CEO at Spin Factory and KIX Communication Index. Before that, he worked at Kaufmann, Whispr Group, Springtime PR, and Spotlight PR. Based in Stockholm, Sweden.

The Cover Photo

The cover photo isn't related to public relations; it's just a photo of mine. Think of it as a 'decorative diversion', a subtle reminder that there is more to life than strategic communication.

The cover photo has


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