The PR BlogCreativitySelf-ImprovementMy Fucket List: 23 Things To Never Try (The Reverse Bucket List)

My Fucket List: 23 Things To Never Try (The Reverse Bucket List)

My list of things that I will never ever try.

Cover photo by Jerry Silfwer (Instagram)

A fucket list is the opposite of a bucket list.

According to Urban Dictionary, it could also be a spelt fuckit list and refer to a list of people to have sexual intercourse with before you die. This list is not that type of list.

A fucket list, in the most common interpretation, is a list of all the things you don’t want to do before you die.

The rules of a fucket list are simple:

  • It must be something you won’t do.
  • It must be something that seems fun or somehow rewarding to other people.

Also, it’s okay to express your fucket list in a passive-aggressive manner (yep, that’s my rule).

Here goes:

My Fucket List of Things To Never Do

Skydiver, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Skydiver, visual art, highly detailed.”

1. Jump out of a functional aeroplane

As fate would have it, I don’t suffer from any form of dopamine deficiency. As an introvert, I prefer to throw myself into the abyss of literature—or something similarly pretentious.

Dude with lots of bling, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Dude with lots of bling, visual art, highly detailed.”

2. Buy stuff just to show off

Stuff tends to wear you down, and they could end up owning you instead. We should all improve our skills and increase our knowledge instead of “chasing cars and clothes and buying shit we don’t need.”

Dying marathon runner, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Dying marathon runner, visual art, highly detailed.”

3. Run a marathon

There must be healthier ways to get likes on Facebook than running a marathon. Plus, I hear that it’s not super-healthy for your heart. I’ll pass.

Falling mountain climber, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Falling mountain climber, visual art, highly detailed.”

4. Climb a mountain

I can’t imagine what type of business I would have on the top of a mountain. I love nature photography, but if it requires climbing gear and you can’t get the shot with a drone, I’m out.

Detailed visual art of a woman feeling lonely in a crowd of people - Online Wannabeism
AI art. Prompt: “Detailed visual art of feeling lonely in a crowd of people.”

5. “Fit in”

People who work hard to fit in rub me the wrong way. I prefer to walk the road less travelled and not care what anyone thinks about it. Plus, odd people are more attractive.

Portrait of a man getting strangled, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Portrait of a man getting strangled, visual art, highly detailed.”

6. Give auto-erotic asphyxiation a go

Vanilla sex is excellent, but a few experiments here and there is fine. But brains need oxygen. Please tell me if I’m missing something here.

Nerds geocaching, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Nerds geocaching, visual art, highly detailed.”

7. Explore geocaching

I’m geeky, but not that geeky. I played Pokemon for a short while; that should be enough to run around for no sensible reason whatsoever.

Airplane toilet, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Airplane toilet, visual art, highly detailed.”

8. Join the Mile High Club

This just in: It’s not sexy to have intercourse where strangers defecate.

Zombie backpacker, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Zombie backpacker, visual art, highly detailed.”

9. Go backpacking across Europe

I like fancy hotels. I never saw the romantic appeal of traversing countries like a homeless person. Or worse—like a woke millennial chasing some social media “travel influencer” dream.

Bungee jumping fail, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Bungee jumping fail, visual art, highly detailed.”

10. Go bungee jumping

I’m sure bungee jumping is thrilling and comes with some sense of accomplishment, but there are other, more productive ways to get out of your comfort zone. “I get my kicks from reading books,” said the introvert.

Crazy celebrity stalker, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Crazy celebrity stalker, visual art, highly detailed.”

11. Ask for a celebrity autograph

I honestly wouldn’t know what to do with a celebrity autograph. I can appreciate another person’s work without having “a lock of their hair” or something like that. It’s creepy, I think.

Religious worshipper, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Religious worshipper, visual art, highly detailed.

12. Respect religious authority

I’m an atheist in a world full of superstitious beliefs. But I do think that we must challenge any unsubstantiated claims.

Vicious sharks, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Vicious sharks, visual art, highly detailed.”

13. Swim with sharks

I feel no desire to swim with sharks. I know they’re peaceful and that you can swim with them safely in the right conditions. It’s just this: They keep out of my living room, so it makes sense for me to stay out of theirs.

Tarot cards, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Tarot cards, visual art, highly detailed.”

14. See a psychic for answers

Some see psychics for answers, some for excitement, some out of curiosity, and others for a laugh with friends. Personally, I just don’t see myself supporting such nonsense.

Troll toastmaster, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Troll toastmaster, visual art, highly detailed.”

15. Be a toastmaster

I’m an okay public speaker, and I have no problem getting up in front of an audience. Still, there’s something about ceremonial duties that rubs me the wrong way. I can’t even propose a formal toast without feeling overwhelmingly cringy.

Monster playing golf, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Monster playing golf, visual art, highly detailed.”

16. Play golf

My temper could never handle golf. I’m calm as a cucumber in life, but I’m a hothead when it comes to sports. I’m not proud of it, but I tend to wreak havoc on expensive sports equipment. I’m sure that golf would drive me insane.

Donald Trump, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Donald Trump, visual art, highly detailed.”

17. Run for a political office

I’m an introverted provocateur with a slight elitist streak—granted, not the most incredible combination for public office. We’ve seen worse, of course.

Dracula drinking wine, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Dracula drinking wine, visual art, highly detailed.”

19. Become a wine snob

I don’t want to belong to a group of people who “know about wine.” It’s just not my kind of people. Also, I don’t drink alcohol. I’ve tried, but I prefer healthier alternatives.

Portrait of a cult member, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Portrait of a cult member, visual art, highly detailed.”

20. Join a cult

The military is the only organisation where it makes sense to follow orders without questioning them, so any cult is out of the question for me. Also—I’m just not a very good follower.

Studio audience clapping their hands, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Studio audience clapping their hands, visual art, highly detailed.”

22. Sit in a studio crowd and clap on cue

Who are these people? They scare me.

Kardashian family portrait, visual art, highly detailed - Fucket List
AI art. Prompt: “Kardashian family portrait, visual art, highly detailed.”

23. Keep up with the Kardashians

The Kardashian family is a media phenomenon. As a PR professional, I should be interested in media phenomena, but I can’t even.

Thank you for reading this article. Please consider supporting my work by sharing it with other PR- and communication professionals. For questions or PR support, contact me via [email protected].

Jerry Silfwer
Jerry Silfwerhttps://www.doctorspin.net/
Jerry Silfwer, alias Doctor Spin, is an awarded senior adviser specialising in public relations and digital strategy. Currently CEO at KIX Index and Spin Factory. Before that, he worked at Kaufmann, Whispr Group, Springtime PR, and Spotlight PR. Based in Stockholm, Sweden.

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