Most of the Xennials’ culÂture has vanÂished — but not all of it.
The micro-genÂerÂaÂtion born between the years 1977 – 1983 has been labelled The Oregon Trail Generation, named after the semÂinÂal video game. Other names include The Xennials, The Carter Babies, Generation Y, and Generation Catalano. We grew up with one foot in the anaÂlogue world and the othÂer in the digital.
One day, the Xennials will be “the last genÂerÂaÂtion that rememÂbers and lived a life before the Internet.”
I was born in 1979 in Sweden. In 1987, at 7 – 8 years old, I gathered my savÂings and bought a comÂputer, the now-legendary Commodore 64. Growing up meant playÂing not only Commodore 64 but also Atari, Amiga, Sega, and Nintendo with friends.
And yes, I played Oregon Trail and many othÂer games like it.
As 90s teenÂagers, The Xennials, The Oregon Trail Generation, grew up watchÂing My So-Called Life, Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place, and Friends. We listened to Nirvana, Guns N’ Roses — and that parÂticÂuÂlar brand of artsy but upbeat pop that the 90s had to offer. We were socially conÂscious but not rebelÂliÂous. We suffered norÂmal levels of teenÂage angst and were all idenÂtity-seekers with no comÂmon goal to unite around.
But all of that is in the past. And we have since moved on.
Today, we find ourselves amidst a hyperÂbolÂic culÂture war, where both extremes gravÂitÂate towards odditÂies like idenÂtity politÂics, semi-organÂised online bulÂlyÂing, and canÂcel culÂture. I’m afraid I must disÂagree with either side of this war or any point along the diagÂonÂal between them.
It begs me, “What’s my culÂture — and where did it go?”
Here’s my hypoÂthesÂis: Xennials, as a genÂerÂaÂtionÂal cohort, struggle to navÂigÂate the culÂture wars. We canÂnot come to terms with today’s zeitÂgeist. We want to — but it eludes us.
When exactly, we ask ourselves while scratchÂing our Xennial heads in bewilÂderÂment, did the vilÂlains become the heroes?
To us, it’s simple: We know we’re not speÂcial. In Tyler Durden’s words, “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the conÂtents of your walÂlet. You’re not your fuckÂing khaÂkis. You’re the all-singing, all-danÂcing crap of the world.”
We all have perÂsonÂal struggles, but no one gets a free “douchebag pass.” Sure, Xander had a rough go growÂing up, and he also wasn’t chosen to be a vamÂpire killer like Buffy or bestowed with magicÂal powers like Willow, but he opted to be a good friend.
People someÂtimes disÂagree and fight, but bullish and selfish behaÂviour is a sympÂtom of perÂsonÂal trauma. If today’s politÂicÂal cliÂmate were an episÂode of My So-Called Life or Beverly Hills 90210, both sides would evenÂtuÂally have to deal with their emoÂtionÂal baggage.
Some conÂverÂsaÂtions are uncomÂfortÂable, but that means that they must be had. And then we need to move the fuck on. Hate will only fester and transÂform its bearÂers into those dark creatures of the Upside Down in Stranger Things.
Still, I don’t think our sense of being out-of-sync has anyÂthing to do with the curÂrent state of pubÂlic affairs. As a small and unasÂsumÂing genÂerÂaÂtion between Generation X and the Millennials, I guess we someÂhow forÂgot to proÂtect our values:
Honesty. Vulnerability. Tolerance. Acceptance. Support.
Instead, the Xennials have been conÂdiÂtioned to bridge back and forth between two large cohorts. Like a genÂerÂaÂtionÂal middle child, we’ve made our beds as we go — losÂing much of our culÂturÂal identity.
Generation X proÂmote self-rightÂeousÂness and cynÂicism, while Millennials gravÂitÂate toward emoÂtionÂal safety and entiÂtleÂment. So, when Generation X accuses Millennials of being entitled and uncool, we chime in. And we chime in when Millennials accuse Generation X of fuckÂing up the planÂet and being laggards.
If we, a quiet micro-genÂerÂaÂtion, have preÂserved any disÂtincÂtions or hallÂmarks, what are they?
Do we even have any culÂturÂal feaÂtures left?
While most of what used to be our culÂture has vanÂished, I think that one charÂacÂterÂistÂic remains: Xennials still frown upon douchebagÂgery, that type of megaÂloÂmania that seems so promÂinÂent in today’s me-culture.
Read also: The Selfie Generation — An Epidemic of Online Narcissism
I canÂ’t imaÂgine them as potenÂtial friends when meetÂing people who brag about their herÂitÂage, status, careers, achieveÂments, hardÂships, speÂcial interests, perÂsuaÂsions, or talÂents. Like, “Ross, spare us that lecÂture on palaeÂonÂtoÂlogy, please.”
Your qualÂitÂies are defined not by how you self-identiÂfy but by how you behave towards your friends. Anyone is welÂcome to stop by and hang out; just don’t put on airs.
Case in point: My wife was born in 1982, and we share these micro-culÂturÂal prefÂerÂences. Whenever we have a couple of hours to spare, we hang out. It’s like an episÂode of Friends where our livÂing room is our Central Perk. I could nevÂer see myself livÂing with someone who doesn’t put being a good friend first.
I think that the Xennial genÂerÂaÂtion still shares this deeply rooted anti-douchebagÂgery prefÂerÂence. If you want to play rich on Instagram or brag about your hipÂster hobÂbies, I’m sorry: you’re an asshole.
Ultimately, at least to us, your charÂacÂter is a choice.
And — it’s the only choice that truly matters.
If nothÂing else, morÂal charÂacÂter choices were the centÂral theme of our pop-culÂturÂal upbringÂing; it’s that manÂdatÂory socially-conÂscious episÂode of every weekly teleÂviÂsion drama or sitÂcom for an entire teenÂage decÂade. We want to hang out, be nice, and play video games with friends.
Do you want to be a social justice warÂriÂor to show the world how pure you are? Do you want to wield the conÂserÂvatÂive axe in the fight against libÂerÂal snowÂflakes? Do you think your emoÂtionÂal bagÂgage makes you more “speÂcial” than othÂers? Maybe you have many social media folÂlowÂers; perÂhaps your car is nice?
That’s fine; you do you.
But if you want to get in with the Xennials, don’t forÂget what it means to be a friend. Check your ego bullÂshit at the door, and come lounge with us. We have sofas and tea.
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