Doctor SpinThe PR BlogLifestyle DesignMy Fucket List: 23 Things To Never Try (The Reverse Bucket List)

My Fucket List: 23 Things To Never Try (The Reverse Bucket List)

My list of things that I will never ever try.

Cover photo: @jerrysilfwer

Table of contents

Whatโ€™s a fuckยญet list?

A fuckยญet list is the opposยญite of a buckยญet list. And this is my list.

Now, accordยญing to Urban Dictionary, it could also be a spelt fuckยญit list and refer to a list of people to have sexuยญal interยญcourse with before you die. This list is not that type of list. 

A fuckยญet list, in the most comยญmon interยญpretยญaยญtion, is a list of all the things you donโ€™t want to do before you die.

The rules of a fuckยญet list are simple:

  • It must be someยญthing you wonโ€™t do.
  • It must be someยญthing that seems fun or rewardยญing to others.
  • Itโ€™s okay to be someยญwhat passยญive-aggressยญive as you motivยญate your choices (thatโ€™s mostly my rule).

Here we go:

My Fucket List

1. Jump Out of a Functional Aeroplane

As an introยญvert, rather than paraยญchutยญing, I prefer to throw myself into the abyss of litยญerยญatยญureโ€‰โ€”โ€‰or someยญthing equally preยญtenยญtious. Why? I donโ€™t sufยญfer from dopamยญine defiยญciency, I guess. I get my kicks from internยญal stimuli.

2. Buy Stuff To Show Off

Possessions tend to wear you down, and they could end up ownยญing you instead. We should all work on ourselves instead of โ€œchasยญing cars and clothes and buyยญing shit we donโ€™t need.โ€ 1Like many men of the Xennial genยญerยญaยญtion (I was born in 1979), my spirยญit animยญal is Tyler Durden, the everyยญman charยญacยญter from Chuck Palachniukโ€™s novยญel โ€œFight Clubโ€ which was made into a โ€ฆ Continue readยญing

3. Run a Marathon

There must be healthยญiยญer ways to get likes on Facebook than runยญning a maraยญthon. Itโ€™s a hard pass from me.

4. Climb a Mountain

I canโ€™t imaยญgine what type of busiยญness I would have on the top of a mounยญtain. Iโ€™m pasยญsionยญate about nature phoยญtoยญgraphy, but I get verยญtigo. So, Iโ€™m out if it requires climbยญing gear and you canโ€™t get the shot with a drone.

5. โ€œFit Inโ€

I love hard-workยญing people. But people workยญing hard to โ€œfit inโ€ rub me the wrong way. I get anxious around them; what on Earth are they comยญpensยญatยญing for? I prefer to walk roads less travยญelled anyway.

6. Try Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation

Vanilla sex is under-appreยญciยญated, I think, but a few experยญiยญments here and there are fine and dandy. Nothing wrong with some naughty explorยญaยญtions. But brains need oxyยญgen, right? Please tell me if Iโ€™m missยญing someยญthing here.

7. Geocaching

Iโ€™m geeky, sure. But not that geeky. I did play Pokemon Go for a stint; that should be enough runยญning around for no sensยญible reasยญon whatsoever.

8. Join the โ€œMile High Clubโ€

This just in: Itโ€™s not sexy to have interยญcourse where strangers defecยญate. Unless youโ€™re into faeยญces and stuff, I guess. But even if you could manยญage to have a good time anyยญway, I see no accomยญplishยญment in bragยญging about the whole ordeal.

9. Sleep at a Cheap Hostel

Iโ€™m the type of perยญson who would spend his last penny on an expensยญive hotel. I nevยญer saw the romantic appeal of traยญversยญing counยญtries while livยญing like a hobo. Or (much) worseโ€‰โ€”โ€‰like a woke milยญlenยญniยญal chasยญing some cheeky โ€œtravel influยญenยญcerโ€ dream. Also, Iโ€™ve seen all the horยญror movies; I know what happens.

10. Go Bungee Jumping

Bungee jumpยญing is perยญhaps thrillยญing and might come with some sense of accomยญplishยญment, but Iโ€™ll nevยญer accept that itโ€™s โ€œcool.โ€ Iโ€™m also wary about those โ€œexpert bunยญgee jumpยญersโ€ hookยญing you up to the ropeโ€‰โ€”โ€‰arenโ€™t securยญity proยญtoยญcols out of their wheelยญhouse, as theyโ€™re lackยญing some highly useยญful perยญcentยญages on the conยญscienยญtious perยญsonยญalยญity trait axis?

11. Ask For a Celebrity Autograph

I honยญestly wouldnโ€™t know what to do with a celebrity autoยญgraph. Take it out and look at it from time to time, perยญhaps. Sell it on eBay? Nah, none of thatโ€™s for me. I can fully appreยญciยญate anothยญer personโ€™s work without havยญing โ€œa lock of their hairโ€ or someยญthing to that effect. I find askยญing for an autoยญgraph borยญderยญline creepy, honยญestly. 2This is also the reasยญon why I nevยญer buy souvenยญirs. Souvenirs are for seriยญal killers and hoarders.

12. Respect Religious โ€œAuthorityโ€

I accept being an atheยญist in a world domยญinยญated by superยญstiยญtious beliefs. But I think we, as a rationยญal cohort absent of reliยญgiยญosยญity, are morยญally obliged to chalยญlenge unsubยญstanยญtiยญated claimsโ€‰โ€”โ€‰even if itโ€™s mostly a waste of time.

13. Swim with Sharks

I feel no desire to swim with sharks. I know theyโ€™re peaceยญful, and you can swim with them safelyโ€‰โ€”โ€‰if the conยญdiยญtions are right. They keep out of my livยญing room, so it makes sense for me to stay out of theirs.

14. See a Psychic for Answers

Some see psychยญics for answers, some for exciteยญment, some for curiยญosยญity, and othยญers for a laugh with friends. I get all of that. But I canโ€™t bring myself to incentivยญise such shenanigans. Or put it like this: Iโ€™m open-minded enough to believe that our natยญurยญal world is unfathomยญably comยญplex and extraordinยญarยญily beauยญtiยญfulโ€‰โ€”โ€‰without resortยญing to seekยญing anothยญer personโ€™s future in tea leaves.

15. Be a Toastmaster

Iโ€™m a decent pubยญlic speakยญer and have no probยญlem getยญting up in front of an audiยญence. Still, thereโ€™s someยญthing about cereยญmoยญniยญal duties that makes my skin crawl. I canโ€™t even proยญpose a formยญal toast without feelยญing overยญwhelmยญingly cringy.

16. Play Golf

My temยญper could nevยญer handle golf. Iโ€™m calm as a cucumยญber in life (a DNA mix from the North of Sweden will have that effect) but a hotยญhead in sports (think of John McEnroe, and youโ€™ll get an idea). I do have a hisยญtory of wreakยญing havยญoc on expensยญive sports equipยญment, Iโ€™m ashamed to admit. Iโ€™m conยญvinced that golf would โ€œdriveโ€ me insane.

17. Run for a Political Office

Iโ€™m an introยญverยญted proยญvocateur and ironยญic conยญtrariยญan with a proยญnounced elitยญist streak. If everyยญone gets along, Iโ€™m comยญpelled to stir someยญthing up, or Iโ€™ll get bored out of my senses. Alas, Iโ€™m not harยญbourยญing a mix of the most suitยญable perยญsonยญalยญity traits for pubยญlic office. Sure, weโ€™ve all seen worse, but still.

19. Hang Out with Wine Snobs

I donโ€™t want to conยญsort with indiยญviduยญals who โ€œknow about wine.โ€ Theyโ€™re not my kind of people with their gurgยญling, burbling, and spitยญting. โ€œNotes of cilยญantro and burnt rubยญberโ€? Fuck you. Also, I donโ€™t drink alcohol.

20. Join a Cult

Cults are out of the quesยญtion for meโ€‰โ€”โ€‰Iโ€™m just not a very good folยญlowยญer. Whenever more than five people seem eager to agree with each othยญer, the hairs on my arms stand up.

22. Join a Studio Crowd

Who are these people? They scare me. Itโ€™s someยญthing about their smiles and their dead eyes, I think. My worst nightยญmare is findยญing myself in a limยญinยญal space, a maze of cubicles and chirpยญing dial-up modems interยญconยญnecยญted by yelยญlow-carยญpeted corยญridors and flickยญerยญing fluorยญesยญcent lights, as a cheerยญful stuยญdio audiยญence is chasยญing me around. Donโ€™t. Let. Them. Catch. Me.

23. Keep Up with the Kardashians

The Kardashian famยญily is a media pheยญnomenยญon. As a PR proยญfesยญsionยญal, I should be interยญested in all media pheยญnomยญena, but I canโ€™t muster up the willยญpower to sit through one of their episodes.

Whatโ€™s on your fuckยญet list?

Signature - Jerry Silfwer - Doctor Spin

Thank you. Please supยญport my blog by sharยญing artยญicles with othยญer comยญmuยญnicยญaยญtions- and marยญketยญing proยญfesยญsionยญals. Please also conยญsider my PR serยญvices or speakยญing engageยญments.

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1 Like many men of the Xennial genยญerยญaยญtion (I was born in 1979), my spirยญit animยญal is Tyler Durden, the everyยญman charยญacยญter from Chuck Palachniukโ€™s novยญel โ€œFight Clubโ€ which was made into a sucยญcessยญful movie dirยญecยญted by David Fincher in 1999.
2 This is also the reasยญon why I nevยญer buy souvenยญirs. Souvenirs are for seriยญal killers and hoarders.
Jerry Silfwer
Jerry Silfwerhttps://doctorspin.net/
Jerry Silfwer, alias Doctor Spin, is an awarded senior adviser specialising in public relations and digital strategy. Currently CEO at Spin Factory and KIX Communication Index. Before that, he worked at Kaufmann, Whispr Group, Springtime PR, and Spotlight PR. Based in Stockholm, Sweden.

The Cover Photo

The cover photo isn't related to public relations obviously; it's just a photo of mine. Think of it as a 'decorative diversion', a subtle reminder that it's good to have hobbies outside work.

The cover photo has

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