Most of the Xennialsโ culยญture has vanยญishedโโโbut not all of it.
The micro-genยญerยญaยญtion born between the years 1977โโโ1983 has been labelled The Oregon Trail Generation, named after the semยญinยญal video game. Other names include The Xennials, The Carter Babies, Generation Y, and Generation Catalano. We grew up with one foot in the anaยญlogue world and the othยญer in the digital.
One day, the Xennials will be โthe last genยญerยญaยญtion that rememยญbers and lived a life before the Internet.โ
I was born in 1979 in Sweden. In 1987, at 7โโโ8 years old, I gathered my savยญings and bought a comยญputer, the now-legendary Commodore 64. Growing up meant playยญing not only Commodore 64 but also Atari, Amiga, Sega, and Nintendo with friends.
And yes, I played Oregon Trail and many othยญer games like it.
As 90s teenยญagers, The Xennials, The Oregon Trail Generation, grew up watchยญing My So-Called Life, Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place, and Friends. We listened to Nirvana, Guns Nโ Rosesโโโand that parยญticยญuยญlar brand of artsy but upbeat pop that the 90s had to offer. We were socially conยญscious but not rebelยญliยญous. We suffered norยญmal levels of teenยญage angst and were all idenยญtity-seekers with no comยญmon goal to unite around.
But all of that is in the past. And we have since moved on.
Today, we find ourselves amidst a hyperยญbolยญic culยญture war, where both extremes gravยญitยญate towards odditยญies like idenยญtity politยญics, semi-organยญised online bulยญlyยญing, and canยญcel culยญture. Iโm afraid I must disยญagree with either side of this war or any point along the diagยญonยญal between them.
It begs me, โWhatโs my culยญtureโโโand where did it go?โ
Hereโs my hypoยญthesยญis: Xennials, as a genยญerยญaยญtionยญal cohort, struggle to navยญigยญate the culยญture wars. We canยญnot come to terms with todayโs zeitยญgeist. We want toโโโbut it eludes us.
When exactly, we ask ourselves while scratchยญing our Xennial heads in bewilยญderยญment, did the vilยญlains become the heroes?
To us, itโs simple: We know weโre not speยญcial. In Tyler Durdenโs words, โYouโre not your job. Youโre not how much money you have in the bank. Youโre not the car you drive. Youโre not the conยญtents of your walยญlet. Youโre not your fuckยญing khaยญkis. Youโre the all-singing, all-danยญcing crap of the world.โ
We all have perยญsonยญal struggles, but no one gets a free โdouchebag pass.โ Sure, Xander had a rough go growยญing up, and he also wasnโt chosen to be a vamยญpire killer like Buffy or bestowed with magicยญal powers like Willow, but he opted to be a good friend.
People someยญtimes disยญagree and fight, but bullish and selfish behaยญviour is a sympยญtom of perยญsonยญal trauma. If todayโs politยญicยญal cliยญmate were an episยญode of My So-Called Life or Beverly Hills 90210, both sides would evenยญtuยญally have to deal with their emoยญtionยญal baggage.
Some conยญverยญsaยญtions are uncomยญfortยญable, but that means that they must be had. And then we need to move the fuck on. Hate will only fester and transยญform its bearยญers into those dark creatures of the Upside Down in Stranger Things.
Still, I donโt think our sense of being out-of-sync has anyยญthing to do with the curยญrent state of pubยญlic affairs. As a small and unasยญsumยญing genยญerยญaยญtion between Generation X and the Millennials, I guess we someยญhow forยญgot to proยญtect our values:
Honesty. Vulnerability. Tolerance. Acceptance. Support.
Instead, the Xennials have been conยญdiยญtioned to bridge back and forth between two large cohorts. Like a genยญerยญaยญtionยญal middle child, weโve made our beds as we goโโโlosยญing much of our culยญturยญal identity.
Generation X proยญmote self-rightยญeousยญness and cynยญicism, while Millennials gravยญitยญate toward emoยญtionยญal safety and entiยญtleยญment. So, when Generation X accuses Millennials of being entitled and uncool, we chime in. And we chime in when Millennials accuse Generation X of fuckยญing up the planยญet and being laggards.
If we, a quiet micro-genยญerยญaยญtion, have preยญserved any disยญtincยญtions or hallยญmarks, what are they?
Do we even have any culยญturยญal feaยญtures left?
While most of what used to be our culยญture has vanยญished, I think that one charยญacยญterยญistยญic remains: Xennials still frown upon douchebagยญgery, that type of megaยญloยญmania that seems so promยญinยญent in todayโs me-culture.
Read also: The Selfie GenerationโโโAn Epidemic of Online Narcissism
I canยญโt imaยญgine them as potenยญtial friends when meetยญing people who brag about their herยญitยญage, status, careers, achieveยญments, hardยญships, speยญcial interests, perยญsuaยญsions, or talยญents. Like, โRoss, spare us that lecยญture on palaeยญonยญtoยญlogy, please.โ
Your qualยญitยญies are defined not by how you self-identiยญfy but by how you behave towards your friends. Anyone is welยญcome to stop by and hang out; just donโt put on airs.
Case in point: My wife was born in 1982, and we share these micro-culยญturยญal prefยญerยญences. Whenever we have a couple of hours to spare, we hang out. Itโs like an episยญode of Friends where our livยญing room is our Central Perk. I could nevยญer see myself livยญing with someone who doesnโt put being a good friend first.
I think that the Xennial genยญerยญaยญtion still shares this deeply rooted anti-douchebagยญgery prefยญerยญence. If you want to play rich on Instagram or brag about your hipยญster hobยญbies, Iโm sorry: youโre an asshole.
Ultimately, at least to us, your charยญacยญter is a choice.
Andโโโitโs the only choice that truly matters.
If nothยญing else, morยญal charยญacยญter choices were the centยญral theme of our pop-culยญturยญal upbringยญing; itโs that manยญdatยญory socially-conยญscious episยญode of every weekly teleยญviยญsion drama or sitยญcom for an entire teenยญage decยญade. We want to hang out, be nice, and play video games with friends.
Do you want to be a social justice warยญriยญor to show the world how pure you are? Do you want to wield the conยญserยญvatยญive axe in the fight against libยญerยญal snowยญflakes? Do you think your emoยญtionยญal bagยญgage makes you more โspeยญcialโ than othยญers? Maybe you have many social media folยญlowยญers; perยญhaps your car is nice?
Thatโs fine; you do you.
But if you want to get in with the Xennials, donโt forยญget what it means to be a friend. Check your ego bullยญshit at the door, and come lounge with us. We have sofas and tea.
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