There’s no shortÂage of introÂvert myths.
I enjoy being introÂverÂted, and I’ve nevÂer underÂstood all the fuss about being an extroÂvert. If nothÂing else, isn’t it great that we’re different?
Still, there are plenty of misÂconÂcepÂtions about what it means to be an introvert.
Therefore, I was glad to find the book The Introvert Advantage (How To Thrive in an Extrovert World) by Marti Laney, and from there, I found Carl Kingdom, who, based on Laney’s book, has comÂpiled a list of ten widely spread myths about introverts.
Here are excerpts describÂing these introÂvert myths:
Myth 1: Introverts Don’t Like To Talk
“This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have someÂthing to say. They hate small talk. Get an introÂvert talkÂing about someÂthing they are interÂested in, and they won’t shut up for days.”
I like to talk, and I often lead meetÂings and workÂshops. I often get up on stage to speak in front of hunÂdreds of people at the time. I don’t mind standÂing up in a room full of strangers to make my case. However, if I have nothÂing subÂstanÂtial to add, I say nothing.
This is espeÂcially true if I already want the social situÂation to be over.
Myth 2: Introverts Are Shy
“Shyness has nothÂing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necesÂsarÂily afraid of people. What they need is a reasÂon to interÂact. They don’t interÂact for the sake of interÂactÂing. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talkÂing. Don’t worry about being polite.”
This, in my opinÂion, is the worst introÂvert myth. I love to give advice, but I also know that unsoÂliÂcited advice is a waste of breath. And if there’s no interest in what I might have to say, that’s fine, too. I’m not easÂily offenÂded, and I don’t mind being quiet.
Myth 3: Introverts Are Rude
“Introverts often don’t see a reasÂon for beatÂing around the bush with social pleasÂantÂries. They want everyÂone to just be real and honÂest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptÂable in most setÂtings, so Introverts can feel a lot of presÂsure to fit in, which they find exhausting.”
Well, I’ve learned to fake social pleasÂantÂries. It’s exhaustÂing, but makÂing the situÂation uncomÂfortÂable for othÂers might proÂlong the social interÂacÂtion. I don’t conÂsider myself rude, but I don’t want to be perÂceived as rude.
Myth 4: Introverts Don’t Like People
“On the conÂtrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introÂvert to conÂsider you a friend, you probÂably have a loyÂal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a perÂson of subÂstance, you’re in.”
So, I nevÂer expect anyÂone to be excelÂlent at everything. I don’t expect to like every facet of someone’s perÂsonÂalÂity — and I don’t hope anyÂone to enjoy every aspect of mine. I want to think that I’m pragmatic.
Myth 5: Introverts Don’t Like To Go Out In Public
“Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in pubÂlic FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the comÂplicÂaÂtions that are involved in pubÂlic activÂitÂies. They take in data and experÂiÂences very quickly, and as a resÂult, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and proÂcess it all. In fact, recharÂging is absoÂlutely cruÂcial for Introverts.”
The more people in a pubÂlic setÂting, the more comÂplex I prefer the interÂacÂtion. This is why I’m not too fond of conÂcerts; enjoyÂing music is a chalÂlenÂging experÂiÂence and, thereÂfore, best done alone.
Myth 6: Introverts Always Want To Be Alone
“Introverts are perÂfectly comÂfortÂable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They dayÂdream. They like to have probÂlems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredÂibly lonely if they don’t have anyÂone to share their disÂcovÂerÂies with. They crave an authenÂtÂic and sinÂcere conÂnecÂtion with ONE PERSON at a time.”
My thinkÂing goes like this: Since I’m deeply interÂested in people, espeÂcially when it comes to psyÂchoÂloÂgies and behaÂviours, why wouldÂn’t I prefer to conÂnect with one perÂson at a time? I don’t see the magic in spreadÂing my attenÂtion too thin.
Myth 7: Introverts Are Weird
“Introverts are often indiÂviduÂalÂists. They don’t folÂlow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valÂued for their novÂel ways of livÂing. They think for themÂselves, and because of that, they often chalÂlenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popÂuÂlar or trendy.”
I don’t think that I’m an indiÂviduÂalÂist by choice. I think first — and then I comÂpare. And quite often, this thinkÂing turns out to be someÂwhat difÂferÂent from the norm. Once this proÂcess has occurred, I canÂ’t change my mind to conÂform to existÂing majorÂitÂies who have reached difÂferÂent conclusions.
Myth 8: Introverts Are Aloof Nerds
“Introverts are people who primarÂily look inward, payÂing close attenÂtion to their thoughts and emoÂtions. It’s not that they are incapÂable of payÂing attenÂtion to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimÂuÂlatÂing and rewardÂing to them.”
I often find speÂcifÂic activÂitÂies that spark my interest, and when this hapÂpens, I like to dive deepÂer into them. I can appreÂciÂate that othÂer people prefer to breeze through many types of activÂitÂies; there are beneÂfits to that, too.
Myth 9: Introverts Don’t Know How To Relax and Have Fun
“Introverts typÂicÂally relax at home or in nature, not in busy pubÂlic places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenÂaline junkies. If there is too much talkÂing and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensÂitÂive to the neurÂoÂtransÂmitÂter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have difÂferÂent domÂinÂant neuro-pathÂways. Just look it up.”
It’s often probÂlemÂatÂic for my friends to underÂstand that I can be alone and have tons of fun inside my head for hours. It might look isolÂated from the outÂset, but that’s only how it comes across.
Myth 10: Introverts Can Fix Themselves and Become Extroverts
“A world without Introverts would be a world with few sciÂentÂists, musiÂcians, artists, poets, filmÂmakers, docÂtors, mathÂemÂaticians, writers, and philoÂsophÂers. That being said, there are still plenty of techÂniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interÂact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purÂpose to show you how biased our sociÂety is.) Introverts canÂnot “fix themÂselves” and deserve respect for their natÂurÂal temÂperaÂment and conÂtriÂbuÂtions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the perÂcentÂage of Introverts increases with IQ.”
Sure, I can fake being extroÂverÂted. I often do this. As long as I get to recharge, I don’t see this as a sigÂniÂficÂant probÂlem. We must all adapt to our surÂroundÂings — that’s an evolÂuÂtionÂary preÂrequisÂite. But natÂurÂal variÂation is an evolÂuÂtionÂary strength, too.